


He's Perfect. Then He Opens His Mouth.

by TheMockingCrows



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Biting, Douchestuck AU, Frottage, M/M, Public Sexual Activity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-06
Updated: 2012-12-06
Packaged: 2017-11-20 10:25:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/584362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMockingCrows/pseuds/TheMockingCrows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Dave's relationship is complicated. On the one hand, John's personality is so unattractive it must be killed with fire. On the other, he's fantastic in bed and is Dave's frequent one night stand subject, an accident that just keeps seeming to happen. When a bit of kiss and grab goes awry in a bookstore, will Dave be able to live down being caught in the act?</p>
            </blockquote>





	He's Perfect. Then He Opens His Mouth.

“Hey, little mama, lemme whisper in your ear.”

“Get bent, Egbert.”

“Bent? The only bending is gonna be you over a table, babe.”

“Hardly.”

“You know you want the d, admit it. Everyone wants a piece of the Egbert.”

“Nope.”

He was pressing far too close again, tanned body against his back, hands trying to fumble and slip around his waist to hold him. Fuck was he being forward today, what was even getting into him? Normally John Egbert was all talk, open flirting, casual touches. Today, he was really going for it.

Dave snorted quietly and leaned to the side in an attempt to dislodge his newly acquired brunette barnacle, reaching for another book on the shelf. They’d finally started stocking more photo collections from Naples, and half of them were in black and white, and by God he wanted to see how much they cost. If he didn’t buy a few on the spot, he’d be back later for the missing editions and a cup of java to warm up with.

“Come ooooon! Just a little, eh? What’s a bit of making out gonna hurt?” The hands were on his stomach now, drawing low enough to make the blonde freeze solid before their intended path was clearer, lifting the bottom edge of the cloth up to allow his wandering fingers access to bare flesh. “Just you, me, a few rounds of tonsil hockey. Hey. I’ll be a gentleman and split a soda or something with you afterwards. I’ll treat next time.”

“Next time seems to indicate you think us kissing would ever be common place. Which it’s not, nor will it ever be. It was only a few times, and that’s that. Now get off me, damn it,” he hissed, narrowing ruby hues in distaste.

John was having none of that, leaning up on his toes to gain a bit of height over the other before kissing at the back of his neck. It was enough to make Dave shudder and narrow his eyes, not giving him the satisfaction of sound. No moans, no groans, no major reactions at all despite the heat that pooled in his stomach and flashed his face.

“Jesus fuck, did you forget where we even ARE? Stop!”

“Why stop? It’s not like anyone but you would ever be legit rooting around in the …. Where even are we right now?” John lifted his face to look around, running his tongue over his braces for a spare moment before spotting the running theme on the book spines. “The photography section. Really? Fuck, what a hipster! …That ass is worth it though, oh man.”

“Gag me.”

“Nnngh, I love it when you talk dirty.”

“AUGH. Down, boy. Sit, stay. Roll over.”

“Oh, a dog am I? Well, then. Guess this makes sense, huh?” John leaned up on his toes once again to align with the back of Dave’s neck, grip around his waist tightening even as the other began to move, hoping to dislodge him.  Maybe smack him upside the head with one of the heavy covered books to make him stop, trying to avoid a scene. Nobody was able to see them back here, aisles quiet save for the filtered muffle of classical music from the speakers strategically placed around the area, and Dave wanted to keep it that way.

It was a harder struggle when Dave felt teeth biting the back of his neck, hard enough to sting, before feeling a few solid sucks. Oh. Oh, God. How the fuck had he remembered that? How did he remember his weak spot, if he could barely remember anything beyond his own bloated ego? The last time he’d been bitten was the last time they’d… what.

Had sex? He could hardly refer to it as being intimate, not with John’s personality. Nor could he exactly call it a one night stand, as it had happened from time to time. For all the fool John Egbert was, good God did he know how to move in bed with the right direction. It was a trap that Dave found himself falling into with more frequency than he’d like to admit. For instance, if Dirk ever found out, he’d never allow him to live it down.

Hell, if ANYONE found out he and John had actually had sex , he’d never survive it. Just let them keep thinking the comments and jokes were John being a moron. Like usual. That anonymity was at risk the longer John suckled and bit at his neck, growling quietly under his breath, hips beginning to rock as he rutted against Dave’s ass.

Ignore it.

Ignore it, ignore it, ignore it, ignore it, ignore it, ignore i-

He was hard. Both of them were by this point, though John was the only one starting to shuffle forward like a dog to rock harder against the plush curve of the blonde’s ass, nibbling and sucking as he went. God, there’d be one Hell of a hickey at this rate.

There was only so much skin a good scarf could cover, and only so long he’d wear it before the desire to take it off grew too intense. Thinking fast, Dave rocked himself backwards a few times in tempo with John’s thrusts before reaching his hands back to grab hold of his hips. Egbert seemed pleased by this new development, letting go of the bruising flesh to speak.

“Nnn, like that, huh? Can’t blame you, everyone wants some of this. You’re just one of the privileged few who get to sample the goods. Gotta count yourself as lucky, sweet cheeks, I got high standards and you fit every check on the list. Fuckin’ delicious, ten out of ten, would bang again.”

John was actually a pretty good catch. He was attractive physically, a decent kisser, great in bed, one hell of a screamer the second you got in his pants. Damn near perfect till he opened his mouth.

And oh, did he love opening his mouth.

“Shut up and give me a kiss, I’ll make it worth your while.”

“Haha, NOW we’re talking!”

“But you have to be quiet.”

“What? Why! You said you liked it when I was loud.”

“I do. I just don’t want everyone else to hear it. Only I get to, right?” Dave was murmuring by now, slowly starting to turn around to face the familiar tanned features and bright eyes, guarding the sensitive flesh of his own neck. “You said before I was the only one who’d ever get to hear those screams. Something about being too cool to squeal like that, if I recall correctly?”

Dave could only pray he took the bait, running his tongue over his dried lips to wet them, trying to look enticing. Hoping the bit of growing desperation wasn’t showing. Don’t show John the effect he had on him, just show him what he could be missing. Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as before, since they’d obviously be keeping their clothes on. If he got lucky, the ability to get off and walk away quickly might break that habit John had of being horribly obnoxious after getting what he wanted. Might shut him up, make it easier to want to be around him for longer than a few rounds between the sheets.

Pfft, yeah, and somewhere a herd of pigs was taking flight. Let’s just keep those hopes minimized to walking away from this exchange without feeling skeevy right away, maybe extend the pleasant feeling till he got home and saw his fresh hickey and changed his sticky boxers.

Ever the slave to getting what he wants, John perked right up when Dave suddenly seemed willing, allowing him the space to turn around and settle his hands where he pleased. The waist seemed the best spot, really, and yet those long fingers were going lower and lower, hooking onto his hips. Just like that, he was being lifted upwards off his feet, designer sneakers flailing in the growing space between himself and the ground. Alarmed, John’s arms shot up to cling onto Dave’s ribs instead, fingers curled into the back of his sweater, the tail ends of his scarf.

“H-hey! You said kissing, man, what’s with this lifting shit? Want me to sit all pretty while we do the lip locking? When do we get with the program, down and dirty in the reference section like some knockoff porn from the eighties?” Dave rolled his eyes again, praying he’d just shut the fuck up already. When he opened his trap once more, that was far too much of a risk to endure, light head dipping down to smother any incoming chatter with a deep kiss.

John wasn’t satisfied, kissing back eagerly even as he stretched his legs and tried to shuffle off the shelf to try pinning his.. boyfriend? Boytoy? Object of repeated desire? Something. Whatever. He was there, and kissing him, and acting like he was going to top this time and that was not happening in the slightest. Nope. Their first time fooling around in public would NOT be with Dave topping.

Never.

Nope.

Oh, fuck did he move those hips fine in those skinny jeans, though.. Dave was pressing closer and closer with each passing moment, scooting between John’s knees to rest between his thighs and begin rutting with a sensual roll of his hips. He could almost hear the creak of the too tight jeans as he moved, shifting his weight, noticeable erection straining at the zipper, calling to John in a familiar tone.

…Maaaaaybe letting Dave top this time would prove good.

Ceasing his struggles, the brunette lifted his knees to send his legs around the blonde’s waist, ankles locking, holding on tightly to get leverage as he began to rock in tandem. If he was going to be bottoming this time, by God he wasn’t going to just lay back and take it. The prettyboy’d just have to get used to the tempo HE was trying to set!

Then it was nothing but tongues and heat, fighting for breath as they rolled against each other, rocking the bookshelf slightly, getting lost in their instincts as canned, regurgitated classical music poured out of speakers. The smell of coffee was hidden by musk and cologne, soft grunts and moans, unheard prayers that they’d get peace while they broke all common practices of decency.

When Dave pulled away to bite gently at his jawline, his throat, suckling gently at a pulse point, John couldn’t be mad. He knew there’d be payback for the solid bite earlier, and there would be hickey trophies all up and down his neck, love bites ranging up and down the board to show off. To Jake, especially, make him wish Dirk would give him the time of day. Striders took a bit of convincing, but FUCK was it worth it!

When pearly whites finally bit down hard and feral against his skin, John let loose a howl of pleasure, writhing in place, humping upwards harder. Fuck. FUCK. He needed to get off, and fast, and Dave was biting his neck and shoving him harder and harder into the shelves and he was fairly certain everyone in the entire building had heard them based on how fast Dave’s right hand slammed over his mouth to muffle him.

Another bite, growling softly in warning as John continued to squeal, trying to urge him to shut up. PLEASE shut up, he was so close. Everything was on fire and he was cursing wearing those fucking skinny jeans, so angry, so VERY angry that they were fashionable, wishing he could be in a set of lazy sweat pants, or just his boxers, or completely naked in those shelves with him.

Wished they weren’t just frotting, that they were having full blown sex somewhere that he didn’t have to forcibly keep John quiet in so he could hear the delicious sounds of his abandon. Or at least where they could get it on the best way possible: rolling and fighting and struggling in the bed and couch and floor until they were both sated. It was just much better for everyone involved if it was a power struggle to see who’d run the show each time. Made the entire experience more fun.

There was a sound of footsteps not far away, making Dave’s blood run cold even as he looked over, flesh in his mouth, hips unable to stop the now hammering beat. They were busted entirely, the redheaded girl staring for a brief moment before her eyes widened beneath press on lashes and her face tinted. All she could get out was a soft “Oh…” before backing away quickly and disappearing.

John, damn him, was giggling and stretching his legs upwards to hook higher, hands beneath his shirt, cheeky. A harder bite reduced him to whining and holding on, breath coming in deep gasps. Between finally being caught, the friction of the too tight clothes, the warm body beneath his hips and teeth and the nagging feeling of two erections rubbing against each other, it was hard to hold out any hope of lasting.

Thankfully, John squealed and lost the battle of wills first, shuddering, blunt nails scratching hard at pale skin once the orgasm caught him in its jowls. He rode it hard as his spine stiffened, legs falling wider as Dave sped up to finish as well, only releasing his neck once the heat pooled in his stomach and his boxers grew sticky and warm. For a good five minutes, the two teens continued to rock against each other’s flagging erections, milking the remnants of bliss while they could, lazily making out.

It was softer now, movements less harried and forceful, all soft lips and tongues with warm breath. No annoyance or anger or teasing, John silent for once, Dave making soft comfort noises in the back of his throat. Soft grunts and sighs as he kissed at John’s lower lip, returning any kisses the other felt like offering up in no short supply.

Finally, they had to pull apart, Dave backing up to straighten and adjust himself as best he could with a grimace. Ugh.. He’d probably hit up the bathroom before going home to change, not wanting to feel the chilled, drying remains of his orgasm on his lap all afternoon. That wasn’t so bad. Not at all! It was fantastic, and he couldn’t help but smile softly at John as he shimmied to settle his sneakers on the floor again, adjusting his pants.

He pulled out a cellphone, flipping it open to text at lightning speed as Dave turned to grab the book he’d originally wanted to buy. Maybe coffee would be in order to-

Why was John giggling?

“Hey. What’s so funny?”

“Oh, nothing babe. Just told Jake we banged in the bookstore and he’s mad jealous. Apparently Jade’s ragging about it, though. Not really sure why. I’ll have to ask her later on facebook or something.”

“You WHAT?!”

“Shhh, hey, hey. We’re in public, dude, it’s not like nobody can hear you.”

Just as everyone had heard John’s squeal of ecstasy minutes earlier, so do did they hear the inarticulate manly screech of rage from one Dave Strider, as well as the slap heard round the world. The blonde bought his book and left alone with flaming cheeks and ears, hickey prominent as part of it slipped above the line of his scarf.

A brunette chased after him, standing in the doorway to yell after him as he rubbed the handprint on his cheek.

“Hey. HEY! STRIDER! TEXT ME!! Strider? …. Heh. What did I say? Everyone wants a piece of the Egbert.”

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr mirror- http://themockingcrows.tumblr.com/post/37296995087/hes-perfect-then-he-opens-his-mouth


End file.
